Bold Contemplations

What happens when the situation is reversed and we must witness others falter during their own personal journey? No matter how stubborn or blind-sighted we are in traveling our own paths to enlightenment, it is often difficult to witness loved ones struggle along their paths, especially if we feel that we can recognize the error of their ways. The process can be extremely painful for us as observers as the urge is often great to make the other's journey easy and safe by sharing our own wisdom and providing a soft landing place. Many times we don't realize that our interference can actually retard the progress of others, as they must experience life through their own unique circumstances and experiences, not our own.

The Daily Om wrote an excellent reflection on this topic, saying in part,

Yet all human beings have the right to carve their own paths without being unduly influenced by outside interference. To deny them that right is to deny them enlightenment, as true insight cannot be conveyed in lectures. Rather, each individual must earn independence and illumination by making decisions and reflecting upon the consequences of each choice. In allowing others to walk their paths freely, you honor their right to express their humanity in whatever way they see fit. Though you may not agree with or identify with their choices, understand that each person must learn in their own way and at their own pace.

Being a control-freak myself, I often struggle with this issue by wanting to force my own insights and experiences on those I care about. I have to work hard to not make the personal issues of those I love into personal issues of my own -- in particular, not alienating myself from those I love when I feel that they make decisions that are harmful despite my previous "warnings." Letting go and allowing others to grow and develop without interference, no matter how many stumbling blocks may avail, is a difficult task. Reserving judgments and criticism and instead offering unwavering support and advice when sought is perhaps even more difficult, but is necessary to preserve individuality, independence and diversity.