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[Photo: Dreams... by carf]

Yesterday I was forced to come to a realization about myself that I found quite upsetting. I realized that I take for granted the good things I have in my life -- people, opportunities, relationships -- everything. I realized that I have devoted little effort to nurturing my relationships with people I care about, instead assuming that they will always be there and the relationship will always remain strong. I realized that I am selfish in the sense that I tend to focus on my own needs, ignoring that a successful relationship must meet the needs of both parties via mutual give and take. If this balance is upset, the relationship will suffer and, in extreme situations, end.

Why do many of us tend to wake up from this fog only when something we hold dear is removed from our lives? Why is it so easy for us to take the good things for granted but dwell on the bad? We feel blind sided when we lose something or someone we cherish and/or love. However, looking back at the events leading up to the loss we are often able to recognize signs and warnings that, at the time of their occurrence, we did not acknowledge or chose to ignore. Perhaps we weren't emotionally capable of dealing with the underlying issues at the time the symptoms appeared. Perhaps we were trying to repel the forces that were nudging us out of our comfort zones.

In the end, we are filled with loss and regret. Some may theorize that everything happens for a reason, and that every situation brings a lesson to be learned. But how many of us really learn the lesson? And how many us return to blissful ignorance until loss presents itself again?


Finally, I'd like to ask everyone to keep genderist of haiku of the id in your thoughts and prayers as she continues her fight against thyoid cancer. Visit her site to leave her some encouragement and sunshine!

Thanks for the mention, Angela!

I'm feeling the love, people. I received good news today.

Every day above ground is a good day, or so said one of my patients this week...

I went to the kitchen to make a roast beef sandwich for my husband who was sitting in the living room watching TV. When I came back five minutes later with the sandwich, he was dead. My life changed -- radically.

I don't think there is much I could have done to make our relationship better before that day. I worked hard at keeping our communications open and loved him deeply. But I know from experience that someone you love could be here, and then gone -- forever.


I think the key to this is being mindful. It is so terribly easy to get caught up in life and forget to do little things or appreciate life or even literally or figurtively stop and smell the roses.

Because anything can happen ant any time, it's important to always communicate how you feel and express yourself at every turn as well as share your life and experiences with anyone who will listen. Others experience and knowledge of us is all that lives on after we go.

My father died unexpectedly earlier this year, and while it was very difficult emoitionally, I felt a real sense of peace knowing that there was nothing I hadn't said to him and vice versa.

Angela...we are all guilty of taking people and things for granted from time to time. What's most important is that we catch ourselves in time.

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